Being Ram

Rupam dehi jayam dehi yasho dehi dvisho jahi Grant us  beauty , Grant us victory, Grant us welfare, remove all hostility. Dehi saubhagyam arogyam dehi mein paramam sukham Give us auspiciousness , health and ultimate never ending happiness . -Devi Mahatmya. I have been chanting this mantra as a regular part of shodoshopchari Puja (the 16 fold offerings) for years. However this year during Ganesh puja, this mantra brought in a new awareness in my heart .This Mantra kind of started ringing and echoing for the whole day and it just doesn't stop even after Mangal Murti  has left for his divine abode. How much do we ask from the Lord.? Are we into devotion ? or a business of devotion ? "Oh lord we offer you this small Puja and some Modaks and give us almost everything under the sun . Make me handsome , give me wealth , give me sons ( Not one , many :-) :-) ), make me victorious , give me health ." On the one hand we say that the lord is all powerful...

A recent visit to this beautiful shrine, refreshed my reflections on one of the most sublime phenomenon that can occur to human beings ......"A Prayer". What is a Prayer after all? ...in the words of a modern man with scientific acumen, trying hard to preserve his faith, it is an effort to build positive energy in our psyche. A more conservative explaination would be an ardent effort on the part of a devotee to ask for the help , support and guidance from the all mighty. The need of a prayer . It's psychology . The miracles ...that have happened with prayers and some disaapointing stories of life long devotees about prayers do not interest me much ...I love to savour my food more than just fill my belly and thats the reason I feel we must learn to enjoy this very process of uplifting ourselves by an incredibly unique gift provided only to sapiens. I had collected some of the best prayers ever said ( or sung ....music enriches prayers) and I still remember how much I had e...

Human communication has never ceased to interest me. If we closely observe two people talking to each other..talking with or talking at each other .., we realize that it’s not the voices or non verbal signals that are sent across, but a deeper expression of personal selves that is taking place .Words are merely instruments to actualize the feelings of inner self that get communicated. Everyone is very tender and delicate from within .Each one has a need to be cared for; comforted and valued .The world would have been a much better place had we valued the tenderness, the delicacy and vulnerabilities of the people that we are talking to. There is no limit to the joy that we can gain when we provide the warmth and comfort to the ailing heart and donate a smile to someone’s face. This brings me to the famous commentary of Geeta by Saint Dnyneshwar .. One of the verses that really strikes my heart, is Be true ..soft and mild Be sparing and graceful Let you words be like waves of divine ne...

They were packing their bags. A wave of sadness had pervaded my entire house .And though I am particularly troubled by departure moments even of a fairly less acquainted person , I was closely observing the way they were moving around. I was feeling so sad that even my the tears could not find a vent .This couple who had spent their whole life for their only son, who were truly the cause of what he is and where he is, were leaving again back home. My parents had come to stay with me for 3 weeks and they were now leaving. On the one hand Aii and Baba were feeling sad that they are leaving their beloved son and on the other, they were no t comfortable staying in Mumbai where materialism ,money, crowd and noise were the prime disturbances. I remember the moments when they were planning to come to Mumbai to see me. It was all so exciting, that my parents are going to come to stay with us .Three weeks had passed like three seconds and it was time for them to go back .This took me to...

I remember this song by meat loaf. I used to listen to it very often during my Engineering days. Meatloaf for one, used to intrigue me quite a lot. I never understood why a person chooses to dress, act and sing in a manner that makes him look so unusual? Why some of these western singers are so fond of looking weird? In search of elegant artistic expression that I was, I never found answers to these questions though I did find some depth and meaning in the songs of meatloaf as time passed. It was not about the songs, it was about the new references that I had found for myself, that these songs had become meaningful for me. This song was about the visit of Meatloaf to his native place where he remembers of a terrible plane crash that had occurred in his childhood .The rear view mirror of his car shows him objects at the back. But he is much intensely associated with them and they seem closer to his heart. The soul he says is a car and life, a high way. It’s a strange tryst with time tha...

After how many months? may be an year?.....but I am back....inspiration from another blogger across seven seas and I am back to blogging business.The wheels of change have rotated too fast in the past year.....this time all the changes were pleasant.Or have I learnt to take things positively? I don't know.I have given away the Gazzetted Officer's Job. Morale is rocketing . SAP certification.....My God I don't believe I did it. mySAP solution consultant...sounds good....But .The journey hereonwards will be on a totally different path . It will be much different as compared to the previous one. There are dangers lurking on every step and an open and frank person like me can fall into them so easily . I will have to be cautious and careful as I proceed ahead . I am sharply aware of the fact that the coming days will bring with them lots of hardships , yet there will be days full of learning . What ever I may feel I know that a new period of opportunities has been ushered in my...

Will my words ever express my feelings fully? Will the silent pain of my love ever knock on your heart? Will you let me flow these palms full of flowers on yourself? Knew that love is God, and I sought it night and day. Creativity and poetry in full flow these days. I don’t know how this happened. I remember an experience when I wrote my first poetry and how I felt about it. It was nothing that I did. I was just an instrument and the creator was someone else. The result was a divine experience of supreme bliss as the lines were being given out one after another. I wrote two poetries in past few days. Love seems to be the theme, which is getting expressed more and more. Today, I went to Ponda to meet Dr Sarjyotishi. The discussion was satisfactory and I am happy, I have made yet another high profile contact. Seems like, if it clicks it can give me a real push. Maintenance management term work is still to be done and like always it will be a huge load in the end. How can I conquer my hab...

I was listening to the melodious songs of Lata as I was travelling to Panjim. under the sun she is undoubtedly the queen of indian film music then I remembered a nice song of Boyzone . I can atleast remember nice poetries if I can't write at the moment. When You Say Nothing At All It's amazing how you can speak right to my heart Without saying a word, you can light up the dark Try as I may I could never explain What I hear when you don't say a thing The smile on your face lets me know that you need me There's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me The touch of your hand says you'll catch me whenever I fall You say it best..when you say nothing at all All day long I can hear people talking out loud But when you hold me near, you drown out the crowd Try as they may they can never define What's been said between your heart and mine You say it best when you say nothing at all You say it best when you say nothing at all.. The smile on your face The tru...

Not writing the blog doesn’t seem to be easy. This is the only place I talk to the only person who understands me. I received my senior scale promotion today. Something which I have been waiting for a long time. But when I received it, I did not feel much happy. It seemed like a petty joy. In the morning ,I went to the college for extra lectures. Most of the students were present. My lectures went on from 9.30 am till 1.30 am .After a long time I found myself so engrossed in lectures and felt a little relieved and relaxed. Felt like I went into a trans like state. Remembered Girish a lot today .He is one person, who is so warm and affectionate. We have so much in common. I love to see his eyes filled with tears as we read and enjoy poetry or a song together. Poetry wasn’t much happy with me today and I don’t want to force her either. Let creativity flow through, when she feels like.Thats it for today.

Who am I? A desert traveler? As for centuries have I walked in these sands, in scorching sun and blistering heat. I walked and walked till my summer’s end An oasis was it with promises ever so tempting With a call ever so true Where the Morning breeze of faithfulness flew kissing my cheeks Where the green green affection made me moist with love When the nights brought hopes of loving tomorrows And the spirited days began …… forgetting myself Love all around celebrating the chemistry so soulful And I knew for sure I was to stay here For all times for all days in the sweet embrace of green grace In the dark hours of night than came a voice A voice so different from the music of oasis Oh traveler dare not stay here for too long! This is not your home,tis a home for those special ! You are a desert vagabond and not an oasis dweller Out you go, to walk in the sands cause that is your home for real Heart tore, tears flew and the desert traveler was much in pain With wounded palms and cripple...

I know that pain is the mother of poetry “If I meet death on my way, My Lord! Give my limbs the strength to crawl to your temple. So that I may lay my head on thy feet. And breathe my last. If I meet death on my way, My Lord! May a cobbler find my body And convert my skin into foot wear, For a devotee to wear and walk to thy temple. If I meet death on my way, My Lord Make my soul shed my body, Near a hospital of eyes And my sight be transferred to a blind boy to see thee through my eyes. If I meet death on my way, My Lord May I fall near a colony of poor, Strip me off my belongings through their hands, And their children, who are thy messengers, thy angels, Be fed, be dressed. If I meet death on my way, My Lord Thrash my body into pieces, turn it into ashes, and spread them all over, Let them embrace thy creation, thy beautiful creation. But before you make many out of me, May I ask you a favor? For a moment if you can, Hold my heart in your hands, And feel how much My heart, wounded i...

Sunday the 17 th April 2005 I got up at 7.30 today and some how got stuck to the computer after my breakfast. I spent hours learning the operation of digital camera and finally was able to use it with much proficiency. In the evening, I went with Baba and Aparna to Pedne. It was a visit to Nadkarni estate. I clicked a few good snaps. Today the camera was my sweetheart. I carried it all over. End of the day was sweet as I went with Shobha’s family for dinner in Green Park . Aparna got her A grade certificates in counselling and guidance. And a long struggle against injustice finally came to a sweet end. Where is my Gitanjali? Ohhh here she is. She is my mother talking the poetical form. “I ask for a moment's indulgence to sit by thy side. The works that I have in hand I will finish afterwards. Away from the sight of thy face my heart knows no rest nor respite, and my work becomes an endless toil in a shoreless sea of toil. Today the summer has come at my window with its sighs and ...

Saturday the 16 th April 16, 2005 Finally the moment that I was waiting for, has come. My camera has arrived. And as I am just learning how to use it with it’s multiplicity of functions, I get excited with the options that it provides. For the next few days I may even sleep with the camera. I shall capture the whole world in my camera, process the pictures, shoot movies and clips and lots and lots more. Today, I had a long chat with my friend . We spoke so eagerly about many things. She has injected into me this desire to go to the society and offer some help to the needy. I feel the central thing in living a good life is giving and serving. Service and sacrifice have lots of joy and happiness in store for those who perform them. More so without any expectation. No wonder today my heart is filled with a feeling of gratitude towards the society and I feel like I should now give something back. “Life of my life, I shall ever try to keep my body pure, knowing that thy living touch is upo...

15 th April 2005 You say it best when you say nothing at all. I love this Boy Zone lyrics. This is more in tune with Indian culture. In the west, people express themselves so explicitly. One hardly finds an Indian husband saying “I love you” to his wife. But he does say it non- verbally in so many ways. I never heard my father saying that to my mother. I remember an Indian woman who served her husband considering him her lord. In the final few moments of her life she asked her husband to let her sleep on his lap and breathe her last. What great culture is this. I feel words tend to grossify feelings. Feelings are best expressed through non- verbal expressions, through eyes, smiles and tears. I gave my car for fitting a CD stereo . My long standing dream will come true today evening. I am also happy that I woke up early as I had decided earlier and meditated for about 45 mins. Fulfilling one’s resolutions feels good. Gitanjali time again “I know not how thou singest, my master! I ever...

14 th April 2005 , Wednesday I can feel some sprinklings of joy and excitement in my life now, as I have finally decided to buy a high class DSC P100 Sony digital camera and a class I Pioneer car stereo with a facility to play all the mp3 formats. I can now make my travel much more enjoyable as I’ll get to listen to the kind of songs that I like .Specially country music. As I travel I can take some halts and take some pictures and send them to my online albums so that my friends can see them. I am also thinking of making some learning media aids for manufacturing process. So lots of good times to come. I think I should proactively try to rejuvenate my relations and friendships. I hope there is a lot to share and care, with out becoming over expectant and demanding. I think I should work towards making friendships a truly fulfilling ones. Thinking of Gitanjali again. I think these bunch of poems are going to guide me through my tough times. Considering my nature to get impressed very ...

Wednesday the 13 th april 2005 Just thought of reading GITANJALI. It always gives me solace . “ Thou hast made me endless, such is thy pleasure. This frail vessel thou emptiest again and again, and fillest it ever with fresh life. This little flute of a reed thou hast carried over hills and dales, and hast breathed through it melodies eternally new. At the immortal touch of thy hands my little heart loses its limits in joy and gives birth to utterance ineffable. Thy infinite gifts come to me only on these very small hands of mine. Ages pass, and still thou pourest, and still there is room to fill.” Wonderful Indeed are these words. I think if we can consider and feel ourselves as the instruments in the hands of the lord, we will be freed from all pains and sufferings. Life then becomes a divine song in itself. There is no one as beautiful as the Lord. There is no one as praiseworthy as the Lord. And singing Lord’s glories gives me immense joy and satisfaction.

Tuesday the 12 th April This day was very eventful. Though I reached late for lecture, the lecture was good. Indeed good preparation for lecture can give profound satisfaction during the lecture. Infact, I should now think of laying maximum stress on effectiveness in lecture as it gives immense professional satisfaction. It is also quite nice to see the students satisfied and with sparks in their eyes. We than went for a field visit to SEZA GOA Pig Iron Plant. I visited the plant for the first time. I had never ever imagined such gigantic furnaces, boilers, turbines and DG sets. It was a wonderful experience. Oflate the tolerance and gentleness is getting evaporated out of my personality. I seem to use the weapons of words very effectively and from within I feel I am just being common. I am getting stripped off my pseudo spirituality. I may now realize how common a man I am and perhaps true spiritual practice will start from there. I came home early and slept for about 3 hours and the...

I feel even an inch of practice is worth more than miles of preaching.Its a great tragedy that most enjoy latter more than the former.When I see people who have been religious and so called spiritual for their entire life as total failures in their own life, I am totally surprised.Now what do we mean by success in life . I would like to define it as attaining happiness in ones life and filling the life of all the people around one with happiness. And I find this simple criterian being breached again and again by thousands of so called spiritual people.I don't understand why the path to permannet happiness should consist of so much discontent ,discomfort and sorrow.If we go for a picnic to a nice scenic spot, not only is the destination beautiful but the travel to that destination with all the friends is enjoyable too.I feel one must keep oneself joyfull and happy.Sant Tukaram has said, just do one thing, make your mind pleasant and youll get all the rest in life.

Conversations with myself . I believe very few people are endowed with the authority and character to advice and enlighten others. For all the rest like me, it’s more of self advice and self talk. Even when we are called upon to address others, it takes the form of a loud self talk which is basically an attempt to reinforce our own grey areas .That’s why I have come to this conclusion that self talk is one of the most fruitful, worthwhile and relaxing activities that a commoner like me can engage in it.