Sunday, January 06, 2008

Words like nectar…..

Human communication has never ceased to interest me. If we closely observe two people talking to each other..talking with or talking at each other .., we realize that it’s not the voices or non verbal signals that are sent across, but a deeper expression of personal selves that is taking place .Words are merely instruments to actualize the feelings of inner self that get communicated.

Everyone is very tender and delicate from within .Each one has a need to be cared for; comforted and valued .The world would have been a much better place had we valued the tenderness, the delicacy and vulnerabilities of the people that we are talking to. There is no limit to the joy that we can gain when we provide the warmth and comfort to the ailing heart and donate a smile to someone’s face.

This brings me to the famous commentary of Geeta by Saint Dnyneshwar .. One of the verses that really strikes my heart, is

Be true ..soft and mild
Be sparing and graceful
Let you words be like waves of divine nectar…..

This verse encapsulates all the principles of good person to person communication.

Is it possible to bring this into practice? …in this real, hard professional world where one has to be very aggressive to get things done? Is it possible to be free, frank and open and yet not expose yourself to the risk of being used and taken for granted? All these questions at times perplex me. Present day professional life demands us to be much more tactful and calculated in speech . Even if you are a person of values you have to adopt a soft manipulative strategy, that you believe will bring better good in the times of come and worth momentarily breaching the timeless principle of integrity of speech.

However a long standing practice of making things happen does have ramifications which we lose sight of…

First of all, no matter how glib and sweet one is at the art of talking …. Human heart has this unique ability to feel the truth more than hear it … and sooner or later your partner in communication does come to know the truth underlying the tactical communication. This leads to trust problems which further spoil relations. That’s the reason, it’s known that many upfront people tend to build long term relations as they tend to create trust and confidence in people by talking themselves out though they may sound intimidating.

Being upfront may put your listener in a slightly uncomfortable stage to begin with but in the long run it makes them feel that you really would like to say things on the face and they don’t need to worry about what games you might play at their back.

A little bit of care and concern with a loving tone in speech while being upfront would really be a winning combination of communication.